It was around 4:30, 5:00 am one week day morning like so many other week day mornings on the farm; it was still cool and dark outside. A young girl, 14 -15 years old moved about the kitchen preparing breakfast for this farming family like she does every morning. Then suddenly out of the darkness of one of the rooms came her older sister’s husband. He forced himself sexually on Elnora; she was unable to fight him off though she tried. She was raped by her brother-in-law; but that wasn’t the worst thing. She felt raped all over again when her parents discounted her truth and chose to believe him over her; he said she came on to him.
She was ostracized by her parents who punished her by taking the baby (Willie) and raising him themselves. As you might imagine this caused Elnora a great deal of stress resulting in her leaving home (run away); she eventually met Capus Ponder who loved her, married her in 1936 and supported her in getting Willie back from her parents. For a lot of his young life Willie thought that Grandma was his mother and Elnora his Aunt. This was the tragic event that created a divide between Elnora and her family for a long time which was such a shame because she really loved her family.
I was a young fellow when my mom through her tears told me about this incident. I guess she felt she had to since I asked so many questions about Willie and why his name was different. Even though that event had long since past I could still see the hurt on her face and in her voice. I don’t share this story with the family without knowing the pain and concern this information will cause some but felt it necessary that Elnora’s descendants know her true story.
This is the event that created the divide between the Knight and the Ponder families. The Great Divide covered 25 years of Elnora’s young life, 1936 – 1961 and focused more on the struggles and tragedies of the time. Our family has kept those unfortunate incidents buried within the Legacy Generation of Elnora’s Children. We should also note that no matter the degree of hurt that Elnora felt relative to the incident surrounding the conception and birth of her first child Willie; she still managed, overtime, to have a very good and active relationship with her parents.
My relationship with and knowledge of my grandparents and their farm, my aunts and cousins were developed over our many trips to Sylvania from Daytona Beach for holidays, family reunions (before there was a charge) and just to visit. My point, is that the perception of a “great divide” between the Knights and the Ponders is just that someone’s perception. We are, and have been, and will continue to be family. What our family experienced over that 25 year period is the same that so many other country farming families endured. I think Oprah Winfrey (Ms. Sophia) stated it best in the film “The Color Purple” when she stated: “A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men.”
We are vetting these concerns now so that we can exorcise feelings of deep anger, hurt and resentment that still exist within some of the Ponders. We must be strong within ourselves and our families so that we are able to forgive the indiscretions committed by those too weak to admit and account for their actions. By doing so we may once again become the “Ponder-Knights” that we are. Ase’
2019 © Dave Ponder
Elnora's Children 